Category

Giving

Category

Guest Post by Laurie Mullet, MSA, RN

We received our first kitchen table as a wedding gift. Oak and 62" round – it came with two leaves and six rickety chairs. It had been handed down through my brother-in-law's family for a generation or two and we were honored to receive it.

The table was perfect for our apartment and I did everything seated there. Together we journeyed through my life as a newlywed. I studied for college, paid bills, and wrote letters. I prepared meals, entertained our families and played late night Uno games with friends and neighbors. The table became the center of our home. I adorned her with flowers, candles, holiday d cor, and 1950's table clothes.

Soon we were blessed with two children and one leaf was permanently placed, making the table oval. From here, I heard tales of other children and listened intently as my children's minds began to expand and grow in a world that I was no longer controlling. This table was the special place for birthday celebrations featuring lop-sided homemade cakes. I mended boo-boos', negotiated peace talks, and suffered over late homework assignments. At this table, I cried into my milk and brownies the night that our son Seth announced he would join the Marines during a time of war.

When Seth got married, we decide to hand the table to the next generation. We were empty nesters now, off on a different journey. My husband, Joe, built a huge counter to prepare food for the two of us or for our family gatherings of fifty.

A convenient breakfast bar, we centered there each evening, dropping our work bags at one end and preparing and serving dinner right from the counter. Often we carried our plates into the living room to watch TV, a treat we rarely indulged in when the kids were home.

Time passed and the dining room remained empty. We eventually purchased two plastic tables from Menards, covered them with tablecloths, and this served as our table when our kids and grands came over. All ten of us around one big table-it was great! We liked it so much we decided it was time to purchase a new table. We took a trip to Shipshewana, but the $10,000 price tag sent us home empty-handed.

One day my husband called and said, "They are getting rid of an old conference table at work. It seats ten, but you could squeeze four more chairs at the corners. It's not wood, it has a Formica top. Do you want me to bring it home?"

A hearty yes was all he needed to lug it home. We bought ten stainless steel chairs, a rug the same width and length as the table, and voila! A family gathering place was created ready for meals, special occasions, and craft days or jarring up honey which can create a sticky mess. I never worry about nicks or scars to the table but embrace all the spills, glue and glitter that two gran-girls can bring! Most days the table is empty, ready for company.

Annually, the Porter County Community Foundation hosts a tea. Last year, the speaker was Sarah Harmeyer, the founder of Neighbor's Table and a self-acclaimed "people gatherer." Sarah moved to Dallas and found herself working long hours, exhausted, and lonely. When reflecting on her life, she discovered she was most energized when she was at a table preparing and sharing a meal with others. 

She asked her dad to make a table that would seat twenty and placed it in her back yard. She sent invitations to three hundred neighbors requesting them to join her for a carry-in supper. Ninety neighbors came to the first event!

Harmeyer has since served over three thousand people in her backyard table. In 2017, she left her full-time job and began making and selling tables with her father. With a goal of having backyard tables in all 50 states by 2020, she is halfway there!

Sarah got me to thinking about all the wonderful things I had done around the table. She emphasized that it wasn't what I was doing at the table that held memories, nor was it the table. Rather, it was the people that were with me that provided the warmth to my heart. It wasn't the food that delivered the sustenance, but the conversation that was shared. She challenged me to begin inviting friends and strangers alike to our table, for there in may lay the memories of tomorrow.

With the holidays quickly approaching, I have lots of plans for our table. You too will have an abundance of opportunities to sit around the table. Who will you invite?

Guest Post by Laurie Mullet, MSA, RN

Halloween is here! If you were thinking about sitting in your house with the lights off, hoping kids don’t stop at your home, you still have time to change your mind. I’m not a fan of all things Halloween, but I do believe it’s an opportunity to connect with our neighbors and those that live in our community.

Will you take the Halloween Giving Challenge?

  • Turn your porch light on and pass out treats.
  • Compliment the children on their costumes.
  • Dress up and have fun.
  • Set out a teal pumpkin (or sign) and have non-food treats available.
  • Chat with parents… get to know your neighbors and those in your community.

Have a happy Halloween!

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of “The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”

Is your home overloaded with candy? Are your kids on a sugar high? Is the excitement of picking a costume and trick-or-treating starting to fizzle? If you answered yes to these questions, you are not alone.

I can't help you on the fizzle, but I can help you with creative ways to get candy out of your home and teach your children about giving.

For children to give their candy away, you'll need to:

  1. Get Creative
  2. Give them options.
  3. Let them make the decision

Get Creative.

You may be reading this, and you know your kids will be 100% on board or your reading this and think...this is going to be so hard. My kid is going to throw a fit! Well, let them throw a fit. Giving at the beginning is hard, but it's a life lesson your kids need to learn. If you don't teach them, do you think they'll grow up to be a giver? Maybe so, but likely not. You know your child best so make this fun and allow them to be creative.

Give Children Options.

You can't just walk in and tell your children you are giving away their candy and expect them to be happy about it. Research ways to give that best fit your family. To help you out, here are a couple of options to give your children:

  1. Operation Gratitude's Halloween Candy Donations Program: This program donates treats to our troops and first responders. Candy donations need to be received no later than November 15th. Click here for additional information. {Conversation starter} Chat with your kids about the important role the men and women in uniform play in our community. Why we should have respect for them and the sacrifices they make for our freedom and safety.
  2. Call your dentist to see if they have a buy-back program. Mine does! {Conversation starter} Do you know how cavities develop? CANDY!!!
  3. Ronald McDonald Houses: In my book, The Giving Challenge, I share a story about the Ronald McDonald Houses. If you are near a house, drop off your leftover candy. For an RMH near you, check here! {Conversation starter} Talk about gratitude. How we should be thankful for our health. Many children in our country are battling life-threatening diseases, such as cancer. Places like the Ronald McDonald House provide comfort, care and allows families to be close to their loved ones in the hospital.
  4. Create Gifts: Purchase mugs or mason jars and fill them with leftover candy. Decorate the mug or jar, tie a ribbon around it, or paint it. Have your child make a card and write a sweet note. Maybe drop off the gifts to a local nursing home or assisted living facility. Ask the staff to provide the gift to someone that doesn't receive visitors or needs a pick me up! {Conversation starter} Gifts don't always have to cost a lot. Sometimes the gifts we create ourselves can be just as unique. Also, the gifts we give don't have to go to people we know. We can bless strangers in need.

Let your children decide.

The list above is only suggestions. Have your child read the list and see if there is a place they want to donate. Or better yet, see what ideas they have and where they would like to donate their candy. Let the decision be theirs to make.

How is Giving Gal getting involved?

I'm also getting my leftover candy out of the house. I don't need it! I'm sending a box of full-sized candy bars to work with my husband for his office and giving three more boxes to my mom for blessing bags that her church passes out to those in need. My gift for the day!

Where will you donate your candy?

Giving Challenge: Get creative, give your child options and let them decide how to give away leftover candy.

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of “The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”

Back in March, I gave a TEDx talk. I've never been so scared in my life. 

The night of the rehearsals I didn't want to go in the building. I asked my husband if he'd take me home.

The day of the event, I wanted to puke. 

It's the first time I've taken the stage in front of hundreds of people with no notes or a PowerPoint to keep me on track.

I often talk about getting comfortable with getting uncomfortable, and to be honest, I didn't like it.

Up until minutes before I took the stage, I paced the halls going over my talk. At times, my mind totally went blank, and a talk I'd spent months on, disappeared into the thin air. 

Panic, doubt and fear crept into my mind.

But one thing is for certain, if I hadn't walked out onto that stage, I would have regretted it the rest of my life.

So friends, after seven months, my TEDx video is officially posted!

Please watch and share with friends. 

Thanks so much for your support!

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of “The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”

Years ago, my husband told me his dream was to see a game at the Big House, where Michigan plays football.

I remember the day I surprised him with the tickets. I think I was more excited than he was…hello I love giving gifts!

I'd never really had an interest in college football, but since it was something he loved, I thought I would try to watch and go to a game.

And guess what?

I L❤️VE going to the games! 

Over the years, we've seen numerous games at the Big House, including a night game and watching a game from the sidelines. An experience we never thought was possible.

Do you know what's on your spouse's dream list? If not, ask. 

If you do, what steps can you take to make their dream a reality?

I keep my husband's list on my phone and am always trying to help him accomplish his dreams. 

Go Blue!

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of “The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”

In January 2016, I met Don and he gave me a gift, that touched me so much, I wrote about it in my book, The Giving Challenge

In short, I was in Washington, DC on business, hired Don to drive me to the airport, and on the way,  I realized I had no cash, only a credit card to pay him. At the time, he only took cash. I said a little prayer, and when we got to the airport, without knowing I didn't have a way to pay, he told me the ride was on him, a gift he wanted to give me.  

In awe that God had answered my prayer, I snapped a picture, as I never wanted to forget Don and the moment, a gift connected me to a stranger.

After publishing The Giving Challenge, I've been on a mission to meet Don again, tell him the story and give him a copy of my book, where I share our story.  I'd tried to hire him in the past, but he was booked.

Finally, this past week, success!  Oh friends, when we arrived at the hotel to drop me off, I shared with Don about our former meeting, his gift, and showed him his story in my book. His reaction would have been a viral video moment, but with no video recording, I soaked in the moment, as Don removed his glasses and wiped the tears from his eyes.  

We hopped out of his vehicle, hugged, snapped another picture, and scheduled a time for him to pick me up the next day to get me to the airport.

I'm confident it wasn't a coincidence that I met Don or that he gave me a gift. I know God spoke to him that day, Don listened, and for reasons, yet unknown, our paths were meant to cross.  

Over and over on my giving journey, I'd feel God nudge me to help someone, and 100% of the time, even many times uncomfortable, the stranger I asked if they needed help did. I'm not perfect, and I miss opportunities to give, but I've learned that many times, we can be an angel on earth, helping those in need, and sometimes it's a gift from a stranger, in the form of a free ride.

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of "The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"


Years ago, in an annual review with my boss, she didn't have any constructive criticism for my work performance, but she did have a personal recommendation.  

Stop apologizing.

When she brought up the topic, I was a bit stunned. As she gave me examples, I could see her point.  

For example, I might be out of the office and my response to an email or a phone call would be delay and I would begin my response, "I'm sorry it's taken me a little longer to get back to you."

She said, "There is no need to apologize. You were out of the office.  Only apologize for actions that really need apologizing, like you make a mistake, then your apology carries more weight."

Over the years, I've worked hard to eliminate, I'm sorry...out of my vocabulary, unless it's really needed. For example, if I don't immediately respond to a text, I don't start out my text, "I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you."  

People may expect an immediate response, but if I'm timely, especially given my extremely packed schedule, there is no reason to apologize. 

Even though her advice was given years ago, apologizing is still a habit I work to break. I'll often start an email with an apology, and then I'll consciously ask, "Why am I apologizing?"  Usually there is no need for the apology and I'll delete my words, address and respond to the email. 

Over the next week, take some time to evaluate your words. Do you apologize too much?

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of “The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”

Note: I wrote this blog because I've missed sending out the last two Giving Gal Gazettes. At first I wanted to apologize to my following, but being fully transparent, it's not that I didn't want to send out my newsletter, it's that I've been totally buried with my day job, working on speaking proposals, editing a 65,000 word book, meeting with coaching clients, working on my own book, traveling and oh yeah...taking a little time to give to myself.  As I thought about it, I had nothing to apologize for and I'm hopeful, you were okay with the break, and happy to receive this edition in your inbox. Thanks for your continued support, as I pursue my big dreams and help others do the same!

I learned the hard way on how to give this last challenge. If I'm being honest I should have started the giving challenge here with "find a way to give to yourself."

We tend to give, give, give to others but never take time to give to ourselves?

When I was on my Giving journey, giving a gift every day for 522, when I missed a day I was both devastated and relieved.

Why?

I was tired! What I realized is, that if I want to serve and pour into others, I myself, must be healthy, both mentally and physically. Be rested, both body and soul. I could be happy for what I'm giving but also in my own life.

After my 522-day journey, I took a break to rejuvenate and I loved learning and finding new ways to incorporated ways to give to myself regularly.

When I picked back up on my daily giving, I incorporated self-care because when we take care of ourselves, I've found, we can give more to others. An idea that many have a hard time believing and putting into action. I get it! I've been there.

I learned from my mistakes and now each week I find ways to unplug and fill up my tank.

Here are some of my favorite ways…
1. Reading a good book. (Currently, a Long Way Home, by Charles Martin.)
2. Going for a hike.
3. Soaking in a bubble bath.
4. Watching a movie.
5. Napping

As I reflect on the last fourteen days, I think I should have started by having you fill your cup up first, so you could plow through the fourteen days. I'm sorry I didn't. But with that said, congratulations for participating in the "Summer" Giving Challenge.

Now go out, celebrate and find a way to give to yourself.

Happy Giving,

Stephanie

 
Day 14 Giving Challenge: Find a way to give to yourself

Did you know... Many women feel guilty about taking time for themselves. I wish I had the reference, but I heard a research study on the radio, and I swear the show's host said, a recent study found that 63% surveyed felt guilty for taking time for self-care. What? Let's not feel guilty about giving to ourselves and living the best life we can! P.S. Easier said than done. But let's work on making progress and getting rid of guilt. 

Chat with your Children:  One in eight children suffer from anxiety.  There are many factors that are contributing to the high rates of anxiety in children and too much to dig into here. But in reading various articles, there are things we can do to help children with anxiety, and I think they align nicely to giving to yourself. (1) Work to find time for children to relax each day, without a screen. Maybe helping with dinner, playing a game, or snuggling up with a book; and (2) Get outside and play.

Bonus Story: Several years ago, I took hot yoga. What an experience! Here are five things I learned from the experience.

What's your great talent? You know, the activity you love to do and if you could do it all day long, that's what you'd choose?

Sometimes the older the we get, life gets busy and our talents get buried at the bottom of a plastic container that's stored under the basement stairs. If we are lucky, we pull it out for a holiday and then we don't see it for another year. 

Or maybe your talent is something you love, but you don't think you're "good enough" to share with the world. You may think, "What if I embarrass myself? I should be able to take a leap of faith, but my faith is fleeting."

I understand where you are coming from. I loved to bake, especially cupcakes, but my decorating skills were questionable at best.

But I baked anyway and gave away my ugly cupcakes.  

Then one day I asked a friend, who decorated beautiful cupcakes, to teach me how to make presentable cupcakes.

She showed up at my house, shared her talent with me, and within a few hours I learned how to decorate a cupcake I was no longer embarrassed to give away.

Do you have a talent you can showcase and share with others?

  • Can you sew? Maybe a friend needs a new dress hemmed.
  • Are you crafty? Maybe an event planner could use your craftiness to make decorations.
  • Are you good with money? Maybe you can help a newly married couple create a budget.
  • Do your friends rave about your organized home? Call a friend who is always stressed about disorganization and schedule a date to help her out.

I'm a firm believer that our talents were meant to be shared.

Take a minute to jot down your talent and think about who you can help. Reach out to the person you jotted down and offer your assistance. If they accept, schedule time on the calendar to share your talent!

If you can't think of anyone that needs your talent, post on social media, "Any of my friend's need help with (fill in the blank)?" 

What talent will you share?

Happy Giving,

Stephanie

Day 12 Giving Challenge: Share your talent to help someone.

Did you know... that many times our talents aren't rewarded until later life? Look at the famous actor, such as Morgan Freeman. He didn't get his big break until age 50! Or what about Colonel Sanders, owner of KFC? He didn't open his first franchise until age 62. Or my favorite, J.K. Rowling, who lived in poverty and it wasn't until age 32 that she published the Harry Potter series.  You are never to young, or old, to share your talent with others.

Chat with your Children: Have you seen the movie, A Star is Born, staring Lady Gaga? Over the course of the promotion of the movie, I watched several of her interviews. She shared how she was bullied in school for singing and acting. Lucky for us, she didn't let the bullying squash her talents. I think there are two great conversations that can be had with children around the topic of talents. The first, is encouraging them to do what they love. Find ways to work together to help them nurture a passion. The second is, teaching them how to encourage others when it comes to recognizing talents in their friends. Maybe your child loves sports, how can the cheer on their friends who love band or drama? We should never be tearing down or making fun of someone for sharing their talents. We don't want to be the reason as child puts their talent in a box under the basement stairs.

Bonus Story: A day before our dog, Boss, passed away, our friend came over and gave us a great gift. I share how our talents can impact others. I will cherish the gift she gave us forever.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned on my giving journey is that if I take time to look around, I've noticed there are opportunities to give everywhere.  

For instance, have you ever been in line at the grocery store with one item and the person in front of you has a full cart?

That happened to me at Walmart and a sweet lady turned around and said, "Go ahead of me, you look to be in a hurry."

What a simple gift she gave me, but totally made my day. I love when I receive these types of gifts because I get to feel how good something so small, especially from a stranger, makes the receiver feel.

Even though I was in a hurry, I asked if I could snap a picture to share with my community. She was humble, and I had to give her a little nudge, as I love documenting giving moments. It's a reminder there are good people in the world.

Next time you are in line, let someone go in front of you.

Happy Giving,

Stephanie

Day 11 Giving Challenge: As you are out an about today, look for small opportunities to give. Maybe it's letting someone go ahead of you in line, holding a door for someone with their arms full, or helping someone reach an item on a shelf. 

Did you know... kindness to strangers is good for your brain? Multiple research studies find that giving to others releases oxytocin, which can help strengthen the bond between people and building community. 

Chat with your Children: One of the simple ways you can teach your child about kindness, is to have them look for opportunities to hold the door open for people. It costs you and them, little time and no money. The action teaches a habit, that no matter their age, can turn into a lifestyle, they can carry through their life, that may make someone else smile. And just like we get a "helpers high" when we give to others, they will also!

Bonus Story: Throughout the years, some of the people that have had the biggest impact on me and my giving has been my mom and the mom of friends.