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Giving

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Friends, I did something last week that a couple of years ago I wouldn't be caught dead doing.

I went out in public with no make up on, sweatpants, my Thursday socks (yes, they say Thursday), and sandals. In my mind's eye, I was quite the sight. I hadn't intended leaving the house until a couple of book orders came in. I knew if I didn't mail the books on this day, it would be a couple of days before I could. I hate to disappoint my customers.

As I entered the post office, I flashed a smile to an elderly man in the lobby. He smiled back.

I chatted with the postmaster, joked with the FedEx guy that came in, and after I mailed my books, when I went back through the lobby the elderly man was leaving. I again smiled at him and held the door open, as he was behind me.

He commented, "It's a gorgeous day outside. I'm glad I rose early and mowed the lawn."

"I bet. It's going to be a hot one, but I love it."  I responded

Parting our separate ways, he said, "Keep smiling. It looks good on you."

His heartfelt, kind words made my day. 

I bounded back to my car and then took a selfie. You see, stripped down with no makeup causes me all types of insecurities. I feel ugly.  For years my husband has always told me he thinks I look better without makeup. I've never believed it. But I always knew he didn't marry me for my looks, because he'd seen me at 3:00 a.m. in the police academy with no makeup, hair slicked back in a tight bun, going on no sleep.  If he could like me then, he must be a keeper.

The man's words hit me and got me to thinking about inner beauty.  I was self-conscious going into the post office, but one of the simple gifts I know I can give is my smile. It's a way for my inner beauty to shine and part of the clouds of my insecurities. I realized that smiling, a free gift, raises my confidence. 

I reflected on the years that I've been on my daily giving journey and how smiling at strangers, especially making eye contact and smiling at homeless people, even if rejected and receive no smile in return, has grown my confidence. But what I've found, is more times than not, even those frowning or appearing to be in a mad mood, smile back.

Do you have insecurities? I'm sure you do! Think about how giving, even a smile, can help you build your confidence, push you to step out of your comfort zone, and see yourself like others see you.

Happy Giving,

Stephanie

"The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

Have you ever considered what you could give away when you travel?

Candy, gum, a magazine, or maybe just a smile or an offer to help a newbie traveler through the airport.

On one or more occasions, I've given all the above and the joy the gifts bring to my travels are better than any souvenir I could purchase.

Awhile back I started carrying, in my travel bag, two copies of The Giving Challenge. If I encountered someone I thought might enjoy the book, I'd sign and give them a copy.

Some people end up following me on social media or sending an email, thanking me for the gift. Others I never hear from, and that's okay. But what happened recently was a first.

If you've flown Southwest you know there are not assigned seats. Walking down the aisle, I looked for a friendly face to sit by.  As I passed a row, a 4 Things Tote by Shop Forward caught my attention. Shop Forward gives back to nonprofits through every purchase, to date, raising over $3.1 million. 

Because of the bag, I was confident the lady sitting in the window seat must be a fellow giver.

I plopped down, we chatted about the bag and then our conversation turned to Shop Forward's #PimpinJoy line of clothing. I shared with my new friend, how I'd been wanting to buy some of their clothes, but I was on a self-imposed no clothes shopping ban for a year. Why? I realized I had too many clothes and I needed to be grateful and content for what I owned. I now use the money, I'd spend on clothes, for foster children or other children in need. 

Before we knew it, a man took the middle seat and our conversation ended.

I noticed she was reading so I figured she may enjoy my book. I pulled a copy out of my bag, signed it and handed it to her. I think she was a bit shocked by my gift, but extremely grateful.

She departed the flight in Nashville and I stayed on to continue my way home to Chicago. 

A couple weeks later a package arrived at my home. I hadn't ordered anything. Ummmm?

I opened the bag and inside was a #PimpinJoy t-shirt. I cried!

I'm the giver. Surprised gifts don't venture my way to often.

My new friend included a card that said, "I wanted to thank you again for the book you gave me on the airplane. I enjoyed it and have already passed it on to my daughter. I remember your story about not buying new clothes this year, so I thought you would enjoy this shirt and together we helped a disabled vet build a home. #PimpinJoy"

Oh friends, there is so much I loved about the thoughtfulness of the gift and note, but discovering the purchase helped a Veteran was a cherry on top.

I love our Veterans. So much so, my next book, The Gratitude Challenge will help fund a monthly Veterans breakfast. 

Many times, our gifts go out into the world and never come back. And that's okay. We are to give with no expectation. But sometimes, they come back in the form of a t-shirt and a new friend.

Giving Challenge: Next time you travel, pack a couple of gifts to give away to a stranger. 

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

“The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”


A week ago, I sat at the bedside, holding tightly to the hand of one of the most incredible givers I've met in my lifetime.

A lifetime.

That's how long I've known Mrs. H. In my 41 years of life, she's always been there. But there are thousands, over her decades of teaching, that could say the same thing.

She had the ability to make you feel like you were her favorite. You were special. And some how she found time to support your interests and encourage your dreams, as she was supporting many others.

Tears streaming down my face, I was fine just to hold her hand and not talk.

Were words needed?

Not really, because over my lifetime she never missed an opportunity to tell me how proud she was of me or how much she liked reading my writing.

Even though her body was frozen, her mind was as clear as a mountain spring. While holding her hand, another visitor entered, and even though she was trapped in the bed and her body, she asked this visitor, "How are your parents doing?"

Not that I was surprised, but even in her toughest days, of her battle with ALS, she still displayed a caring concern for others.

I didn't want to leave.

I could have sat there all day holding her hand. I can't describe the feeling, but I've never had someone hold my hand so intently, so connected.

We kissed each other goodbye and exchanged I love yous. I tried to be strong but tears flowed without my permission.

Days later, the light in a small southern Indiana town dimmed. The brightness she brought to the community will never be replaced.

As I write this, I'm torn between staying at a writer's conference or hopping in my car to be at her funeral.

I've spent alone time, at the conference, crying in the shower, a bathroom stall, and my dorm room.

Sometimes being an adult stinks.

Hard choices have to be made.

And then finally, I asked myself a simple question, "What would Mrs. H want me to do?"

She'd want me to stay and learn more. Education was extremely important to Mrs. H. She dedicated her lifetime to teaching others. Not just music, but confidence, work ethic, respect for yourself and others, and it's okay to have fun and laugh at yourself.

So today and tomorrow, even though many will be celebrating her life, I'll be here, at Wheaton College, becoming a better writer. And I believe that is not only what Mrs. H would want, but it's what she'd expect of me.

Being fully transparent, I also have a hard time with funerals. They sometimes take away from how I want to remember a loved one. And even though I have a lifetime of memories with Mrs. H, holding her hand in her final days, is a moment I'll cherish, remember, and feel for a very long time.

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

"The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"

Do you remember the sitcom Three's Company? Sunday evening, I got sucked into a celebrity spotlight show on John Ritter. I only knew John as an actor but hearing costars and friends talk about him made me think about the legacy we leave.  

His friends never mentioned him partying, his wealth, the materials possessions he owned such as a mansion or sports cars or the awards we won. Over and over they genuinely shared stories on his generosity on the set, his kindness to all he encountered and how he made people feel, the gratefulness he had for the opportunity to act and do what he loved, his passion as a father, and the joy he brought through his smile and making others laugh.

After all these years after his passing, he still made an incredible impact in the lives he touched, and many gave them credit for their career and how he still influences their craft today.

So, how will people remember you? Will it be for the gifts you gave that money can't buy? I sure hope so!

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

"The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"


My hands sweat and my heart races every time I watch the TEDxCalvin video spotlighting me as one of the speakers.

I keep telling myself, "God gave me this opportunity, He has gone before me and will be on the stage with me."

The only way I can get on this stage is by His strength. I can not do this alone. 

You may be thinking, "Stephanie, you get on a stage all the time and speak, why is TEDx any different?"

No notes, no slides. 

My entire talk is memorized, which in all the years I've been speaking, I've never done.  

I don't read from my notes but they are a guide to help me stay on topic, order and so everything flows.

With that said, I've put in the work. 

I've been working on my talk since November. I've rehearsed it no less than seven times each week. When I'm in the car, I turn down the radio and give my talk. When I'm soaking in the tub, I give me talk. And some mornings, I shout it out in the shower! 

I've recorded my talk and practiced it in front of a few friends. 

I'm prepared. 

A TEDx Talk has been on bucket list for years. And this is definitely one that I couldn't just show up and check off. 

The preparation for the talk also made me realized I don't have to be a procrastinator which I've proclaimed to be for…oh…my entire life. 

It's a label I've given myself and lived up to on many occasions. But I've learned through this process, we have the ability to change. 

The event is on March 2nd. If you are the praying type, please add me to your prayer list. I'd really appreciate it. 

Thanks for all your love and support!

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

“The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”


This weekend I had the honor to keynote a women's breakfast at a local church. The next day I spoke at the same church and the pastor said, "I heard the event was transformational."

What an impact his statement had on me. God laid on my heart two years ago to get The Giving Challenge in churches. I could see the vision but many couldn't. I had a director of women's ministry tell me my talk didn't have enough scripture. Well friends, I'm more concerned about living out scripture than reading it from a stage.  

Two women saw my vision and worked tirelessly to make a dream become a reality. Several months ago, on a dark, cold night we gathered and believed a success would be if 30 women showed up.  A women's event was the first of it's kind for this small church. We were giddy exclaiming our stretch goal of 50 women. We had 35 RSVP and were ecstatic! But you know what happened the morning of the event? 70 women packed the room. We had to set up more tables and chairs. My assistant ran out to my car to get more books. And somehow there was enough food for everyone!

After the event, I saw hugs, tears and excitement of going out into the community to give in ways the women had never thought about giving. I heard stories that would break your heart and stories of new connections made between women that want to pursue a dream God laid on their heart.

I can't quite put into words everything that happened on Saturday, but God showed off. And I need to thank Him for giving this gal something bigger than she could ever dream.  

If you have a big dream, you gotta do more than pray. You have to share your dream with others. You have to work hard to make it happen. And when the opportunity is presented, show up like your life depends on it. Put in the work, knowing you deserve the opportunity that was given to you!

I love what Mark Batterson says in his book on prayer, "We are called to pray about everything, but there comes a time when praying can be a form of disobedience, laziness, or negligence. We can't just pray like it depends on God; we also must work like it depends on us."

I wonder how many prayers go unanswered because people don't act to follow a path God had laid before them.  

Pray for your dream but also take the steps to make it happen. If you're on the wrong path, God will let you know. But if doors keep opening, keep walking through them!

Now go make your dream happen!

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

"The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"




Dear Friend,

Hello! I’m Stephanie, aka, the Giving Gal. On January 1, 2011 I started my giving journey. I gave a gift for 522 days and that journey changed my life.

The giving journey led to me writing The Giving Challenge and now creating

The “Lent” Giving Challenge, starting March 6th.

Instead of giving up chips, wine or sweets, what if you gave away something each and every day for 40-Days, changing the lives of those you encounter and in the end, changing your life?

It’s easy to participate! Sign-up here.  

Once you sign up, you'll receive lots of fun tools to help you on your journey.

Each morning I'll send out a Giving Challenge via email and in my Facebook Group. You can take the challenge or create your own. Let's flood the world with intentional acts of giving!

You'll also receive and be able to download a Lent Giving Challenge packet that includes:

  • Impact Pages: Write down how many people you impacted and a few notes to review later.
  • Journal Pages: Take a few minutes to write about your daily challenge.

What are you waiting for? Join now and invite friends to on the 40-Day adventure with you!

I can’t wait to go on this journey with you. A journey of 40-Days to a more generous life!

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

“The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”

Learn more at GivingGal.com.

I'm preparing for my TEDx talk, and I give three steps to follow if you want to go on your own giving journey.

First, wake up in the morning and declare, "I'm going to give a gift today!"

Second, look for an opportunity to give.

And finally, and most importantly, act when you see the opportunity.

This morning my flight to Austin, TX was canceled. I called Southwest customer service, and the agent on the other end of the line was friendly and helpful.  When I told her the flight I wanted for tomorrow, she said, "There is one seat left."

"Praise the Lord!" I exclaimed.

She chuckled, and at that moment I received a nudge, "Ask her if you can pray for her."

I ignored the soft, gentle voice and continued to chat with the agent, asking her about her day. "Busy, but good," she commented.

This was my opportunity, but I was scared to act. I didn't follow through on giving this gift that the agent may have needed today.  So, if you are the praying type, will you pray for the nameless Southwest customer service agent? We don't know her name, but God does, and that's all that matters.

Again, the soft whisper, "Ask her if you can pray for her."

Blessings,

Stephanie


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About the Author:

Stephanie Jones and her husband, Mike, live in Northwest, IN and enjoy lake life and travel. Stephanie is the author of The Giving Challenge-40 Days to a More Generous Life (on sale NOW!), a speaker, life success coach, and a daily giver. Stephanie empowers people to change their life through giving.

You can contact Stephanie by email at Stephanie@GivingGal.com.

6 Ways to Get Your Giving Groove Back

Does your chest tighten thinking about purchasing gifts for picky, non-appreciative people? Is your bank account empty from pursuing your dream? Are you feeling scroogey about shopping, wrapping and giving when you have so much else to do? I'm going to let you in on two little gift-giving secrets. The purchase price of the gift doesn't matter and neither does the giver! Yes, you read that correctly. The gift – in fact, the whole holiday season and many of the stressors therein – is not about you. This means you can relax! Here are six actions you can take today to get out of the holiday funk and reignite your joy for giving.

1. Focus on the good.

Whether it is an annoying coworker, a family member who seeks attention (and not in a good way) or a friend who is a little too high maintenance, we let their faults overshadow their positive qualities. As they frustrate you during this season, remind yourself why you love and appreciate that person, then give them the gift of encouragement. Write a card, send a text, share in person, or pick up the phone and let people in your life know how you feel about them. They may be carrying a burden you don't know about, so for this magical time of year, choose to focus on the good.

2. Freely give with no expectations.

Too many times when we give, our gifts come with expectations. For example, we think the receiver will like, appreciate, and say "thank you" for the gift. Maybe your gift – if you get honest with yourself – has other expectations like a gift from them in exchange, or that they'll bury an old hatchet with you. The definition of a gift is giving something and expecting nothing in return. When you change your mindset on this, you'll start to find joy in giving. If you are giving a gift that fits your budget and you put effort into the purchase, don't worry if someone doesn't like or appreciate the gift. That's on them, not you.

3. Focus on what you can control.

Many times in giving, we get caught up in not only the recipient's reaction to the gift but also that of onlookers. We've all felt pressure during the show-and-tell portion of the holiday party or family gathering when each person takes a turn talking about what they received and from whom. This stress can also rise to the surface regarding holiday season volunteer work or charitable donations. Ask yourself why you're so stressed about a particular person's gift. If you put thoughtful consideration into your gift and the receiver doesn't like it or wants to exchange the gift, that is okay. If other people think it's too much or too little or too weird or too boring, that's also okay. You've done your part, now move on.

4. Find gratitude.

If you have watched any of my friend, Kelsey Humprey's interviews, you've heard leaders discuss a gratitude practice. For instance, Tony Robbins practices gratitude for 3-1/2 minutes on three things every morning. He says, "I pick one of them, and I make it really simple, like the wind on my face or the smile on one of my children's faces, so I don't just have to have a giant thing to be grateful." (Watch that clip again here.) If giving is stressing you out due to lack of funds, be grateful for what you can give. Get resourceful and creative. Find ways to give away your time or your talents and make a memories instead. If you're in a position to give at all, many would say you're #blessed. Try and remember that during the bustle.

5. Find some perspective.

Remember, it could be worse. If you are having a pity party for yourself because you're down in the dumps about the holidays, volunteer at the local food pantry, soup kitchen, homeless or domestic violence shelter. Talk with people and inquire about their story. You'll quickly learn the things you are allowing to ruin your holiday really aren't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life.

6. Fill your own gift bag, too.

I know I said giving isn't about you, but you can't be a joyful giver if you are stressed, tired and in a bad mood. Gifts for you could be an hour-long massage or the bargain set of brightly colored ballpoint pens that just make you happy.

Make the needed changes in yourself to find the good in others, give freely, and get most of this season of giving. Don't enter the New Year with regrets about how/what/ when or even why you gave. To be your best self means living and giving without regrets.

Happy wrapping!

Stephanie

My weekly giving challenge this week in the Giving Gal Gazette, is to celebrate Giving Tuesday. Okay, I'm a week ahead on this challenge, as Giving Tuesday is November 27th. I'm giving you a week to prepare. We've created "Giving Tuesday" gift tags for you to download and recorded a video to give you ideas on how you can give on Giving Tuesday. Snap a pic on the 27th and share it with me on social media! I'd love to see how you are giving.