Reclined in a comfy lounge chair, sunk in the sand, waves crashed on the shore and the words from Rhythms of Rest by Shelly Miller, sucker gut punched me, "I don't do guilt."  

That's a mantra of Shelly's mother-in-law, that she's adopted, and I'm working to change my mindset and also stop the guilt.

I'm grateful I read these words early in my vacation, so I could put into practice my new mantra, "I don't do guilt."

Being aware of our bad habits or thoughts often goes unnoticed because that's the way we've lived for so long. 

I've spent the last week relaxing on the beach and by the pool and worked to be conscious of my thoughts and feelings, especially when it comes to guilt.

Do you struggle with guilt?

Let me dig in a little and give you a couple examples:

Eating: I know I'm not alone in a constant battle of thinking about what I eat and then feeling guilty about what I put in my mouth.  Leading up to vacation, I was on a healthy streak, lost weight and felt great. 

But then vacation. 

I decided on vacation, that I wasn't going to feel guilty about what I ate. I indulged in chocolate cake, chocolate dipped strawberries daily, and scoops of gelato.  I snacked on French fries and nachos, and sipped on sweet, non-alcoholic dirty monkeys (try one) and strawberry daiquiris. And guess what, when I got home and stepped on the scale, I'm only up a couple of pounds. And with going back to focusing on healthy eating, I'll drop those pounds over the next week or two.

Can you relate?

I think there is a healthy balance to work towards to eating to nourish our bodies, and yet being okay when on a vacation, celebrating an event or taking a break on weekends.

Rest: I've focused on rest for the past couple of years and if you struggle with rest, I'm here to tell you change can happen. But you'll need to move through the guilt of taking time for yourself, putting your to do list on hold and saying no.  

While on vacation, I found guilt creeping up for literally doing nothing but sitting in a cabana and reading and dozing off. I'm not talking an hour, but days of doing nothing. And guess what? It felt great!  But also, what I've learned over time is that rest, reading and doing nothing helps my creativity to flow. 

As I sat focused on nothing, words flowed from heaven and I couldn't move my pen fast enough to write the ideas, that turned into chapters, and hopefully another book. 

When we give our minds time to rest, opportunities we may have not seen in the past, creep to the surface.  Rest is good.

Do you struggle with giving yourself time for disconnecting and resting?

If so, look at your calendar, and schedule time to sit back, relax, take a nap and rest.

The past week, even though I felt I did nothing, besides read books, write, nap and eat, working on my mindset with guilt was a huge win. Day after day, and now that I'm home, when guilt surfaces, I whisper, "I don't do guilt."  

The change in mindset and the simple tool of acknowledging when I feel guilty and whispering those words has been freeing.

Are you willing to join me in not doing guilt anymore?

With gratitude,


Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of "The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life" and “The Gratitude Challenge: 41 Days to a Happier, Healthier, & More Content Life”

1 Comment

  1. Jane Westmeyer Reply

    Thanks Step for this as were going on vacation next week and I’m not going to feel guilty about eating out and indulging on sweets. Instead of being stressed I’m going to enjoy and relax!

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