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June 2019

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Today could be a sad day for me. A reminder of my biggest failure.

The day where, nineteen years ago, I sat in the audience and watched my fellow classmates get their badges pinned and take the oath to serve in protect.

But my dream to become an Indiana State Trooper died when I failed firearms.

A couple years later, I'd marry a fellow recruit, making me realize that God always has a plan. It may not be what I prayed for but what I needed.

So today, instead of living with the what-if's, I'm grateful for the failure. 

Without that failure, I wouldn't be where I am today, writing and speaking, meeting incredible people who want to make a difference and live their big dreams.

Today, I celebrate my husband and all that graduated from the 59th recruit class. 

For the past nineteen years, my husband has committed himself to serving the citizens of Indiana.

The sacrifices have been many, most no one will ever see.

Each and every day, I'm so proud to call myself a police wife, and stand by my husband as he and his classmates defend and protect the thin blue line.

This year, 59 officers have been killed in the line of duty, with June being the deadliest month, with twelve officers killed.

Please keep my husband and all of his fellow brothers and sisters in blue in your prayers. I appreciate it and I know he does also.

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

"The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"

I saw courage in action this past week, and even though we'd just met the night before, I sat in my chair, cheering Lisa on, soaking in her success.

I wanted to remember the moment. I wanted her to remember the moment, so I snapped a picture.

It was the last day of the Write-to-Publish Conference. I'd taken the children's book writer's track with award-winning author Michelle Medlock Adams. She's written over 90 books, which have sold over four million copies. 

We as writer's can have those in the industry review and critique our manuscripts. Lisa submitted a children's book to Michelle to review. As we walked into the classroom, Michelle shared with Lisa how much she loved her book. It needed to be shortened, but it was fabulous!

I snapped a picture of Michelle giving Lisa the feedback, as I wanted Lisa to have the moment documented. It was a little gift I gave her. I said, "Lisa, when you get home, you print out this picture and you put it where you can see it. If you ever doubt your writing, if you want to give up and quit, you look at this picture and be reminded of the moment Michelle raved about your book."

At the end of the class, Lisa read her book to us. OH...MY...WORD!!! You know someone is a good children's writer when they are reading, and you can envision the pictures that will go with the story. I flipped through the book in my mind. And I can't wait for her book to be published and for me to share it with all of you.

It took courage for Lisa to share her manuscript. When we share our gifts with the world, we open ourselves up to criticism and critiques. Sometimes we keep our talents hidden for the fear of being rejected. I talked about this last week, how I'd stepped out and took a risk, but got scared hours before I was to share my gift with an audience of women. But friends, if we never step out in faith, into uncomfortable waters, we'll never know what it feels like to receive praise, to take our dream to the next level and maybe, just maybe, change someone's life.

Is there a book, a poem, a painting, or a craft project you've been hiding from the world? If so, I challenge you to share it. And if you get rejected, that's okay. Why? Because then you will know, you don't have to spin the what if in your head. And then you can decide, just like writers, do I get back and work on the feedback provided, or do I hit delete and start over? The choice is yours.

What would you like to share with the world? If you aren't ready for the big time, share it with me. I'll encourage you and cheer you on until you are ready. 

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

"The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"


A week ago, I sat at the bedside, holding tightly to the hand of one of the most incredible givers I've met in my lifetime.

A lifetime.

That's how long I've known Mrs. H. In my 41 years of life, she's always been there. But there are thousands, over her decades of teaching, that could say the same thing.

She had the ability to make you feel like you were her favorite. You were special. And some how she found time to support your interests and encourage your dreams, as she was supporting many others.

Tears streaming down my face, I was fine just to hold her hand and not talk.

Were words needed?

Not really, because over my lifetime she never missed an opportunity to tell me how proud she was of me or how much she liked reading my writing.

Even though her body was frozen, her mind was as clear as a mountain spring. While holding her hand, another visitor entered, and even though she was trapped in the bed and her body, she asked this visitor, "How are your parents doing?"

Not that I was surprised, but even in her toughest days, of her battle with ALS, she still displayed a caring concern for others.

I didn't want to leave.

I could have sat there all day holding her hand. I can't describe the feeling, but I've never had someone hold my hand so intently, so connected.

We kissed each other goodbye and exchanged I love yous. I tried to be strong but tears flowed without my permission.

Days later, the light in a small southern Indiana town dimmed. The brightness she brought to the community will never be replaced.

As I write this, I'm torn between staying at a writer's conference or hopping in my car to be at her funeral.

I've spent alone time, at the conference, crying in the shower, a bathroom stall, and my dorm room.

Sometimes being an adult stinks.

Hard choices have to be made.

And then finally, I asked myself a simple question, "What would Mrs. H want me to do?"

She'd want me to stay and learn more. Education was extremely important to Mrs. H. She dedicated her lifetime to teaching others. Not just music, but confidence, work ethic, respect for yourself and others, and it's okay to have fun and laugh at yourself.

So today and tomorrow, even though many will be celebrating her life, I'll be here, at Wheaton College, becoming a better writer. And I believe that is not only what Mrs. H would want, but it's what she'd expect of me.

Being fully transparent, I also have a hard time with funerals. They sometimes take away from how I want to remember a loved one. And even though I have a lifetime of memories with Mrs. H, holding her hand in her final days, is a moment I'll cherish, remember, and feel for a very long time.

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

"The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life"

What did I get myself into? I pitched an idea to do the biggest dream board workshop I'd ever lead, almost 150 people. Terrified. That's how I felt on the day of the event. What had I done?

Like every grand idea I have, when rubber meets the road, fear seeps in and I start to question everything I know to be true.

  • What if this doesn't work? 
  • What if we don't have enough supplies?
  • They've given me two hours; can I fill the time?
  • What if the women don't get on board and engage? 

These are the questions that flooded my mind as I smiled standing behind my table, engaging with conference attendees, just hours before taking the stage.

I faked my confidence. 

I'd been in this situation more times than I can count. And I know when I have resistance to what I'm about to do, I'm on the right path. Pursuing big dreams is uncomfortable. If they weren't, we'd all be doing it.

But then a woman approached me and shared how she really needed to hear what I had to say. She was excited about the dream board workshop.

And just like that my attitude changed. I went back to day one of my giving challenge and reminded myself of my mission. 1 Making a Difference. Today, I wasn't out to make a difference in the lives of all the women. My goal... make a difference to one woman. If I could help one woman, then I would have succeeded. 

Now, you know that's not what happened. I'm confident I impacted more than one woman.

And guess what I learned, yet again?

Fear is a liar.  My shirt that day even said so!

And all my fears and doubts, they were unfounded. 

I share this embarrassing story with you, to let you know that even on my best days, I'm afraid.  I'm uncomfortable. When I'm on stage, moments before, I may have wanted to crawl under the table. Don't be fooled by my confidence. That's just courage. Because what I've learned, is that on the other side of fear is usually something incredible.  

What is holding you back from pursuing a dream or goal?

What's one step, even small, that you can take to help you gain courage and conquer your fear so you can go out and live your big (or small) dream?

Blessings,

Stephanie

P.S. If you need help overcoming your fear, email me at Stephanie@GivingGal.com, to schedule a complimentary coaching session. Let's work together to get you on the path of overcoming your fear and living your dream!

P.P.S. Download my “Dream. Discover. Do” Workshop board for yourself, HERE.

I'm a recovering workaholic.

When my husband worked the afternoon shift, I'd work all day and late until the evening. 

If he worked weekends, so did I. At times I worked 80+ hours a week.  

I said yes to every request. If I wasn't working, my evenings were filled with meetings, dinners and volunteering. Many times, doing things I didn't like, with people who sucked the energy and life out of me.

A couple of years ago I hit rock bottom. I'd done two keynotes and was scheduled to give the sermon at church. When Sunday morning rolled around, I stayed in bed as long as I could without missing the service.

That was the beginning of May and it wasn't until August I started to human again. I took the entire summer off. I said no to almost every request and even though my team at work doubled in size I learned to scale back and shutdown the computer.

I spent almost every weekend kayaking, reading, napping and doing activities that didn't require much physical exertion or mental work.

I think the way I lived my life is how many others live. They just don't know how to gain control of an out of control life. They are hanging on by threads on an unraveling sweater. And before they know it, the small snag is a gaping hole and they start to unravel.

The crazy thing about the crash, is months before, my doctor warned me it was coming. I'd spit saliva in tubes and the hormone test, especially the cortisol warned of what was to come. But I ignored the warning from both the test results and my doctor. Don't we think we are invincible? Well we are not.

Ever since that summer of regaining and taking charge of my health and schedule, I've reprioritized my entire life.  

In the past, I'd feel guilty for sitting on the dock, reading and well, accomplishing nothing on my to do list.

And especially feel guilty if I just came back from a vacation, which I did on Wednesday.

But my June is crazy! Starting today, I'm out of town 13 out of the next14 days.

So, guess what, this past weekend, I'm relaxed at the lake. I sat on the dock or in the boat while my husband is fished. I kayaked. I took a nap. And yes, I did a little work, as I have commitments I've made and deadlines to hit.

If you're at the edge of your thread, there is hope, but it's not easy. It's a lot of work, not to work, to free up one's schedule, but it can be done. 

Trust me, I've lived that crazy life for years and what I've discovered is the less busy I've become, the happier I am.
If you need help reclaiming your life, email me at stephanie@GivingGal.com, to schedule a complimentary coaching session. Let's work together to set your priorities and a plan to decrease your stress and increase your happiness.

Blessings,

Stephanie

Inspirational Speaker and Award-Winning Author of

“The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life”